Taking Sides
by Christine M. Greenleaf
Summary: Dr. Harleen Quinzel finds herself relating more to the inmates of Arkham Asylum than the doctors. Taking the side of the patients will forever change the course of her life.
1. Chapter 1

**Taking Sides**

Dr. Harleen Quinzel entered the staff room and took a seat in the corner, trying to avoid being noticed. She had been working at Arkham Asylum for a couple weeks now, but because of conflicting shifts, she still hadn't met all the other doctors yet, and honestly really had no desire to. She had never been particularly good with meeting new people - she wasn't the friendly, outgoing type, and preferred to use her breaks to study and read up on her patients, rather than socialize. At the moment she was examining the Joker's file – she was really hoping to be able to interview him at some point. He was a fascinating case, a fascinating man, and she was eager to discover all she could about him.

"You're the new girl, right?" said a voice.

She looked up to see a fairly handsome young man looking down at her. "Um…yes," she said, standing up and holding out her hand. "Dr. Harleen Quinzel, but everyone calls me Harley. Nice to meet you."

"Dr. Tim Baker," he said, shaking her hand and smiling. "Welcome to the madhouse. Can I ask why, out of all the mental institutions in the country, you picked a job at this hellhole?"

Harley stared at him, unsure if he was joking. "Well…I've always had an attraction for extreme personalities," she said. "And there are some pretty colorful characters here at Arkham."

"That's putting it mildly," laughed Dr. Baker. "But yeah, we've got some real psychos here. If you're lucky, they'll stick you with one of the random crazies, rather than the supercriminals. Those guys are a helluva lotta work."

"I took this job so I could work," replied Harley. "Really hard, if I have to, to help the people who need it."

"I admire your optimism, Harley," said Dr. Baker. "But I think soon you'll realize, like the rest of us, that some of these nutcases are beyond help. Just between you and me, I think the best thing for 'em would be to put 'em down. Y'know, like what people do to mad dogs. That's what these people are – animals, plain and simple. They'd kill you as soon as look at you."

"What makes you say that?" asked Harley.

"Well, I've been through my share of breakouts," he shrugged. "I've been held hostage a couple times. You see it in their eyes then, how little they care about human life, and how willing they'd be to take it without a second thought, the way you or I would flick off a lightswitch."

"Tim, stop trying to scare Harley!" snapped Dr. Leland. "You'll have to forgive him, Harley, he does this with all the new doctors."

"I don't need to scare her – she'll be scared soon enough," retorted Dr. Baker. "I'm just warning her. I'd hate to see one of those crazies do a job on that pretty little face of yours."

"Thank you for your concern, but I believe I can handle myself," said Harley. "I'm a professional, after all. If we treat our patients with respect, I firmly believe they'll show us some respect in return."

Dr. Baker laughed. "Wow, I'm not sure if that's optimism or just stupidity!" he said. "You can't be nice to these freaks, Harley, they'll only try to take advantage of it. I thought, as a fellow psychiatrist, you would understand the devious nature of psychopaths."

"And I thought, as a fellow psychiatrist, that you would be capable of a little more compassion and understanding towards your patients," snapped Harley. "I can certainly see why they resent us if this is the attitude they're greeted with."

"It's the only sane attitude when dealing with these monsters," replied Dr. Baker. "We're not the crazy ones, after all."

"Perhaps that's a matter of opinion," said Harley, sitting down and trying to focus back on her reading.

Dr. Baker sat down across from her. "Pretty thick file for you to be reading, sweetheart," he said, glancing at it.

"Yes, I mastered chapter books in elementary school," retorted Harley, trying to ignore him.

He noticed the name on the file. "Ah, the Joker," he said. "Now he's the worst. Worse than all the other crazies put together. Completely insane, heartless, unfeeling, unrepentant, homicidal maniac. Listening to him talk will chill you to the bone. There's nothing else there but evil."

"Forgive me if I don't share your incredibly simplistic take on an incredibly complicated man," said Harley. "To say the Joker is evil is to dismiss him entirely. We can only help him by understanding him."

"You can't help the Joker," retorted Dr. Baker. "No one can. Like I said, there's nothing there. No heart, no soul, just cruelty and malice and a really disgusting sense of humor."

She looked up at him. "Why the jokes?" she demanded. "Why the games and the gags if there's nothing there? There's something driving him to commit these crimes, something he may not even realize is there, but it's certainly more than just evil. No, he's a complex man, and I will do my best to try to figure him out, assuming that's ok with you. It is my job, after all."

"Joan, you didn't give the new girl the Joker, did you?" asked Dr. Baker of Dr. Leland, astonished.

"No," snapped Dr. Leland. "She wanted me to, but I told her it's not gonna happen. And it's not gonna happen, Harley."

"Luckily it's not entirely your decision," retorted Harley. "I'm gonna take it up with the other heads."

"Just don't neglect your patients," sighed Dr. Leland. "I really don't know why you want to waste your time with people like the Joker. I hate to agree with Dr. Baker, but they are generally considered incurable. What makes you think you'll be able to help them?"

Harley wondered how she should respond. Should she tell them the truth, the truth that she related more to these homicidal maniacs than to normal people because they were different, just as she had always been? Should she tell her that she believed these people not to be evil, just special, which nobody else seemed to see? Should she tell her that something about the Joker had captured her attention since she had seen him briefly on her first day here, and which had only grown when he had sent her flowers for no apparent reason? No. No, they wouldn't understand any of that. Nobody ever had.

She shrugged. "I just want to try," she replied. "There can't be any harm in that, can there?"

"There's always harm when the Joker's involved," retorted Dr. Baker.

"I'm not afraid of him," snapped Harley.

"Then you're an idiot," he retorted. "You better wise up, sweetheart, or you're not gonna last, and I don't just mean here at Arkham."

"Thanks for the tip," said Harley sarcastically, standing up and putting the file under her arm. "See you later."

She left the room and went down the corridor, heading back towards her office. On her way, she passed the cafeteria and glanced inside to see the inmates in the middle of their lunch. She looked casually around for the Joker and saw him at last, chatting with Harvey Dent, who the more disrespectful people called Two-Face. Harley thought that was an appalling thing to call a man who had been disfigured in an accident, and she resolved to always refer to him as Mr. Dent if she ever spoke to him. Or Harvey, if he'd let her.

Joker suddenly noticed her staring and looked at the doorway. She met his eyes and felt her breathing start to speed up, just as it had that first time she saw him. He had such beautiful, intense eyes…

He smiled at her and winked, just as he had that first day. Harley felt herself blushing, but managed a nod before striding off. Her body was shaking and she tried to get it under control. He was handsome in his own way, she had to admit it to herself. She wondered if anyone else had ever seen that before her. Probably not. Nobody ever seemed to see any of them as anything more than evil freaks, not worthy of notice, people who deserved to be swept under the rug if they could, like dirt. Harley didn't feel that way about them. The normal people, the boring, ordinary, everyday people like Dr. Leland and Dr. Baker were the ones who could be swept away. There were millions of people out there like them. But these patients, these supercriminals, were special. They were unique. There would never be anyone like them ever again. They should be valued and treasured, not locked away. They only hurt people because they weren't. Why couldn't anyone see that?

She entered her office and put the file down on her desk. She opened it again and picked up a photograph of the Joker, smiling as usual. She smiled back. "I know you're not evil," she murmured, propping the photo up on her desk. "And I want to help you. Please let me get close to you."


	2. Chapter 2

"Still reading up on the sick freak?" asked Dr. Baker a few weeks later.

Harley had been trying to eat her lunch in peace, but no such luck. She sighed. Dr. Baker had been a constant nuisance since she had met him. Not only was he an incredible bigot and a horribly intolerant man, but he also seemed to have developed an infatuation towards her. It was completely unwanted on Harley's part, but she suspected Dr. Baker didn't respect women enough to take no for an answer.

"Yes, I am," she replied simply, trying to ignore him again. "And I'd prefer it if you didn't refer to him like that."

Dr. Baker picked up a page from the file. "Explosion in a movie studio, 200 people die, Joker says the film was gonna bomb anyway. What else would you call that but sick?"

"Why the joke?" repeated Harley.

"Who cares?" retorted Dr. Baker. "I'm betting the 200 people he killed don't."

"No, they're dead," said Harley. "I doubt they care about much of anything anymore."

"I'm betting the loved ones they left behind don't care either," said Dr. Baker. "How will understanding the Joker bring those people back?"

"And how will hating him do that?" retorted Harley. "If we understand what drives him, maybe we can help him and save future lives. But that's only if we show him compassion and sympathy."

"I don't sympathize with murderers," said Dr. Baker.

Harley sighed, looking around and wondering where else she could eat her lunch. There were a couple of doctors over in the corner bitching about some of the other doctors behind their backs. Herself probably included, she thought, glumly. Dr. Leland was talking about a promotion with another doctor, and her fairly ruthless strategy for getting it, and a couple of other female doctors were talking about getting their hair done. Such shallow, meaningless, empty lives all of them had. Just like her.

She sighed again. "Why the long face?" asked Dr. Baker.

"No reason. I'm just gonna go," she said, picking up her tray and the file.

"Hey, I've got something that'll make you happy," he said, stepping in front of her. "How about coming over to my place for dinner tonight?"

"Gee…that's really flattering, Dr. Baker…" began Harley, slowly.

"I've told you, Harley, call me Tim," he said. "You might call me a couple other things before the night is over, though," he added, grinning.

"Um…no, I don't think so, thanks," said Harley. "I've got plans tonight."

"How about tomorrow night, then?" he pressed.

"Look, Tim, I'll be honest with you, I'm really not interested," she said.

"Why? Got your eye on someone else?"

"You could say that," she agreed.

"Same guy who sent you those flowers?" he asked. "This J guy?"

Harley stared at him. "How do you know about that?" she murmured.

"I know a lot of what goes on in this place," he replied. "Just like I know you got a picture of the Joker on your desk. That's pretty sick too, if you don't mind my saying. Time to get your mind off the freaks and pay attention to a real man, doncha think, sweetheart?"

"I couldn't agree more, Tim," she retorted. "See you later."

He grabbed her arm. "You gotta be on our side, Harley," he murmured. "This place is a warzone. It's us against the psychos. And if you're not with us, you're against us."

"I'm on your side," snapped Harley. "I just don't want to be with you. Now let go of me."

He obeyed her. "You think about what I said," he muttered. "And the offer is still there, if you ever want dinner, or anything else."

"I'll bear it in mind. Bye, Tim."

She left the room, slamming the door behind her. She was shaking in fury as she walked back towards her office. She passed the cafeteria again and paused, looking inside again. If she couldn't eat her lunch with the doctors, then maybe she could with the patients…

"That new doctor is simply stunning," Jonathan Crane said to the table in general. "A real beauty, kind, sweet, and a true lady. You don't see that much here, no offense to you, Pamela."

"None taken," said Poison Ivy. "I'm not a lady – I'm a woman of will."

"Maybe that's a kind way of putting it," said Two-Face.

"Shut up, Harvey," she snapped.

"Oh, can we not have the war of the exes again?" demanded Crane.

"Yeah, Johnny wants to tell us more about this new babe of a doctor," said Joker loudly, smiling. "Go on, Johnny. You do mean Dr. Harleen Quinzel, right?"

"Yes, Dr. Harleen Quinzel," said Crane, nodding. "Have you seen her, Joker?"

"Yeah. You think she's a hot little number?"

"Of course I do, I'm not blind!" retorted Crane. "She's absolutely gorgeous."

"Got a bit of a thing for her, huh? Wouldn't mind having that on the couch, would ya?"

"I wouldn't have put it exactly that way myself, but yes, I find her incredibly attractive…"

"Your ears burning, Doc?" said Joker suddenly, grinning. Crane stopped talking abruptly and whirled around to see Harley standing behind him. He opened his mouth in shock and tried to stammer out some form of apology or explanation, but no words came.

"I was just wondering…if anyone would mind…if I join you," said Harley, slowly, looking tentatively at the inmates.

Nobody said a word, staring at her in astonishment. Then Joker laughed. "The more the merrier, Doc, that's my motto!" he giggled. He slid over and patted the seat beside him. "Got a place all warmed up for you."

"Thanks," said Harley, managing a smile as she sat down with her lunch. The room was still silent and Harley cleared her throat at last.

"Please continue talking – I didn't mean to interrupt."

"We gotta watch what we say in front of doctors," snapped Ivy, glaring at Harley. "They might think we're crazy."

"I won't," said Harley, firmly. "I'm Dr. Quinzel, by the way, I don't think we've met, Miss…Isley, is it?"

"_Dr._ Pamela Isley," corrected Ivy. "But I prefer Poison Ivy."

"Poison is certainly a good way to describe her," growled Two-Face.

"We used to date," explained Ivy to Harley with a patient smile. "Much as I'm ashamed to admit that."

"I don't know why you should be," said Harley. "Mr. Dent is a very distinguished man."

"_Was _a very distinguished man," growled Two-Face, flipping his coin in annoyance. "Now I'm locked up in the loony bin with the rest of the crazies. No offense, guys."

"None taken," replied Joker, grinning. "No one should ever be offended by the truth. We're all as crazy as the day is long. The only sensible thing to do when you discover you're mad is to give into it."

"I believe you still have a lot to offer society, Mr. Dent," said Harley, smiling at him. "I believe you all do."

"And why would we wanna help society?" demanded Ivy. "What's it ever done for us? It ain't accepted us, that's for certain."

"Well, people usually fear what they don't understand," said Harley. "It's human nature and I don't think it can be changed. But I, for one, want to understand you. And maybe that'll be enough. I'd like us to be friends, Miss Ivy, if you'll let me."

Ivy still glared at her. "I'm not friends with shrinks," she snapped.

"Please believe me when I say I'm not like the others," said Harley, gently. "I don't want to be like them."

"And who do you wanna be like, sweetheart?" demanded Two-Face.

"I don't wanna be like anyone," she said. "I just wanna be who I am. I'm sure you can all relate to that."

"What game are you playing exactly, toots?" demanded Two-Face, angrily. "All this trying to relate to us crap. What's the motive? There's always a motive."

"Geez, Harvey, lay off, would ya?" said Joker. "Stop grilling the poor dame! You're not a DA now. The Doc is just trying to show us a little sympathy and compassion. It's sweet, really."

He smiled at her, and Harley felt her heart speed up. "You gotta forgive some of these losers, Doc, they don't know how to treat a lady," said Joker, nodding at Ivy and Two-Face. "Gotta say, though, you certainly made quite an impression on old Johnny here. What were you saying, Johnny? Absolutely gorgeous, wasn't it?"

"I just…I…I…have to go," stammered Crane, rising suddenly and rushing off.

Joker chuckled. "Nice guy, really, but clams up around women. Bullied at school, bit of a nerd, painfully shy, except when he goes on one of his murderous rampages. You'll learn to love him, though."

"She'll learn to love him?" repeated Ivy. "You're talking like she's gonna last, J. Doctors never last here."

"Some of them do," argued Two-Face. "Dr. Baker's been here awhile now, hasn't he?"

"Yeah, but he won't be around much longer if he keeps talking about me the way he has been," retorted Joker. "Next time we escape I'm gonna teach him some manners, but he may not survive the lesson. Oh, sorry, sweetheart, we shouldn't be talking that way about your colleagues," he said, smiling at Harley.

"No, it's ok," said Harley. "Privately I agree with you. Dr. Baker and I are not friends."

"That's one thing you got in your favor, then," muttered Two-Face.

"I didn't know he was so universally hated," said Harley.

Ivy shrugged. "He hates us, so we hate him. An eye for an eye and all that."

"Speaking of which, I wonder if Dr. Baker needs two eyes," chuckled Joker. "Or even one. It would spare him the pain of having to look at his ugly mug in the mirror every morning."

To her surprise, Harley giggled. The inmates stared at her in astonishment. "I'm sorry," she said, quickly. "I'm sorry, that wasn't at all funny. Very unprofessional for me to laugh at the hypothetical misfortune of my colleague. I must apologize."

She rose suddenly. "Look, I'd better go. It was lovely meeting you all – I hope we can speak again soon. Goodbye."

She rushed off as the three of them stared after her. "Weird dame," muttered Two-Face.

"Odd for a doctor," agreed Ivy.

"Yeah, really strange," murmured Joker, grinning. "I like her. I really do."


	3. Chapter 3

"Thank you, you may go," said Harley, as the guards dragged the Joker into her office. They obeyed, sitting him down and then leaving the room. The moment the door was shut, Harley had shoved her mouth onto Joker's, straddling his lap and kissing him passionately.

"I missed you so much, puddin'," she whispered, drawing away briefly. He chuckled and drew her mouth back into his.

"You wanna get these cuffs off, baby, so we can have some real fun?" he murmured, grinning at her.

"Sure thing, Mr. J," she whispered, reaching for her hairpin and fiddling with the lock. It clicked and the handcuffs dropped from Joker's wrists. He chuckled again, then picked her up and slammed her down on the desk, climbing on top of her as his mouth teased her flesh.

"Oh, Mr. J!" gasped Harley as he slid a hand up her skirt. Her own eager hands ran along his back and tugged at his shirt. "Oh, Mr. J, I love you so much!"

He laughed again. "You ready for your shot, Doc?" he whispered, grinning.

She giggled. "Oh yeah, puddin'. Give it to me."

She surrendered to his mouth again, wrapping her arms around him tightly. And the door opened at that moment.

"Harley, I…Jesus Christ!" gasped Dr. Baker.

Before either he or Harley could recover from the shock, Joker had already leapt to the door and slammed it shut. He turned to face Dr. Baker, giggling. "Caught me with my hand in the cookie jar, Doc," he said, grinning. "Though I'm sure Harley doesn't call it the cookie jar," he giggled. "Still, can't have you tattling on me, can we?"

"Harley…what the hell is going on?" stammered Dr. Baker, stunned. "What is this?"

"Exactly what it looks like," retorted Harley, sitting up and buttoning up her blouse.

"You mean you…and this sick freak…he's been screwing you?!" shouted Dr. Baker, angrily.

"Jealous, Doc? I don't blame you if you are," chuckled Joker. "Harley here is quite the little tiger, a real feisty little minx. Ain't ya, baby?"

"Only for you, Mr. J," breathed Harley.

"Harley, he's…he's…evil!" stammered Dr. Baker. "You can't honestly be stupid enough to be taken in by him!"

"She ain't stupid," retorted Joker before Harley could respond. He grinned at Dr. Baker. "No, outta all the people here, Doc, she ain't the stupid one," he murmured.

Dr. Baker glared at him. "You're not going to get away with this, Joker," he hissed. "I know you're only using her the way you use everyone, to serve your own evil ends. I know you. I know there's nothing else to you but lies and cruelty and deceit. You're incapable of loving anyone."

"You're right," agreed Joker, nodding. "I am incapable of loving just anyone. Dame I love's gotta be special. And my Harley girl is special."

"Oh, Mr. J," breathed Harley, gazing at him in adoration. "Oh, I love you, puddin'." She kissed him tenderly and Joker laughed.

"Quite the gag, huh, Doc?" he asked, smiling at Dr. Baker. "The pretty blonde ends up with the bad guy, the sick freak, and the rich handsome doctor ends with nothing. Not even his life."

"You're not going to kill me with Harley here," murmured Dr. Baker.

Joker shrugged. "Can't let you go, can I? Not after what you've seen. And Harley's gotta get used to a little homicide if she's going to hang around with me. No time like the present. I would say it's nothing personal, but that would be a lie. It's gonna be a real pleasure, Doc. The last thing you're ever gonna be aware of on this earth is my laughter, and Harley's smiling face."

He suddenly seized the handcuffs from where they had fallen and wrapped them around Dr. Baker's throat, choking him from behind. He began giggling as Dr. Baker struggled and fought, gasping for air.

"Harley!" he gasped, staring at her in desperation. "Harley, please, help me!"

Joker tightened his grip, laughing wildly, eyes shining in delight. Harley gazed at him – she would have thought murder would have appalled her, but when she saw how happy it made Mr. J, it seemed like the most wonderful thing in the world. Her heart soared as his laughter grew more hysterical. "Sorry, Tim," she whispered, smiling. "I'm on their side now."

Dr. Baker couldn't respond – in a few more moments he went limp. Joker dropped the body, still giggling. "I would make some joke about being choked up over his death, but Dr. Baker doesn't deserve a gag on his demise," he said, smiling. "Guy could never really take a joke."

"No," agreed Harley. "And a sense of humor's important in a man. I like a guy who can make me laugh."

Joker chuckled, kissing her. "C'mon, toots, let's blow this joint," he murmured. "You got what I asked you for?"

She nodded and went over to her desk, opening a drawer. "Didn't think we'd need them so soon."

"Well, you know what they say, when life gives you lemons, you gotta squirt them in your opponent's eyes and punch them while they're blinded," said Joker, smiling.

Harley giggled as she pulled out two small, home-made bombs and set them up along the wall. She lit them and then stepped back. The wall exploded and daylight shone into the office. "Shall we, Mr. J?" she asked, beaming at him.

"Manners, pumpkin pie," he said, patting her head. "It would be terribly rude to escape without seeing if the guys wanna come with. Let's ask them, shall we?"

He went over to the door and punched the alarm button. A loud siren blared throughout the asylum, signalling a patient escape. "When we hear it, we just can't resist all joining in," laughed Joker.

They heard screams and shouts over the alarm, and a few moments later, Poison Ivy, Two-Face, and Jonathan Crane burst into the room. Ivy glared at Harley. "What's she doing here?" she demanded.

"Being useful," retorted Joker. "Don't worry, Pammie, she's on our side."

"You don't think she's outlived her usefulness?" growled Two-Face. "I can take her out for you, if you want."

"Perish the thought, Harvey," replied Joker, grinning. "I can do my own dirty work if necessary. And what I'm going to do to Harley is going to be very dirty indeed. She's looking forward to it, aren't you, cupcake?" he said, grinning as he tilted her chin up.

Harley kissed him passionately as the others looked on in surprise, except for Ivy, who looked more disgusted than surprised. "You think that's attractive?" she muttered. She shook her head. "You really must be crazy. Guess you are one of us after all."

"Sorry, Johnny, but I guess the best man was always going to win," said Joker, smiling at Crane.

Crane said nothing, but glared at him and pulled on his Scarecrow mask. "Let's get out of here," he murmured.

"After you," said Joker, bowing mockingly. "Ladies first, after all."

Scarecrow glared at him again but climbed out through the wall, followed by Poison Ivy, whose plants surrounded her and greeted her the moment she was outside. Two-Face followed them, flipping his coin as usual, and Joker went through the gap last.

He turned and held out his hand to Harley. "Coming, Doc?" he murmured, grinning at her.

Harley gazed at him dreamily. The siren was still screeching out an alarm, but she didn't hear it, and she didn't see the corpse of Dr. Baker on the ground. All she saw was her angel, in a halo of light, offering her his hand, offering her a chance to come with him, to have a new life surrounded by different, special people, and to never be unhappy again. She'd have to be crazy to refuse.

She stepped over the body and took his hand, clutching it tightly. And they left the madhouse together.

**The End**


End file.
